Lessons in night-time treadmill running

1. Search the interwebs for a structured (and challenging) interval workout so you know exactly what you’ll be doing, making it less likely that you’ll just hang on for 20 minutes

2. Do not eat dinner – like dinner dinner – an hour before you plan to run. That is, of course, assuming that you don’t like burping up pork “fried” brown rice for half your workout. If you like that sort of thing, carry on.

3. While sitting on the couch with a bowl of Turkey Hill’s light cookie dough and watching “Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” seems like a better alternative, it’s not.

4. Find an acceptable Pandora station on your phone before starting the workout in an effort to avoid stopping several times in the warmup.

5. Creating a “Bye Bye Bye” station on Pandora does not guarantee that you’ll hear “Bye Bye Bye.” You will, however, hear “Cry Me a River” by Justin Timberlake. Though “River” is no power “jam,”  the thought of Timberlake will help you push through a tough interval.

A moment of silence, please.

6. Listening to a ’90s pop station will remind you of a better workout song than “Bye Bye Bye”: “Dirrty” by Christina Aguilera.

7. A drink of water is an acceptable reason to stop the treadmill after a tough interval. If anything, it might help get rid of the flavor of pork “fried” brown rice.

8. Pausing because you’re afraid that you can’t keep up? That is not an acceptable reason to stop. You will only run as fast as you let yourself. #OpHardcoreFit in full effect.

9. It’s a smart idea to grab a towel from the laundry pile – even if it is the dirty laundry pile – to keep next to you. It will come in handy when the sweat is literally dripping down the backs of your legs, past your ankles.

10. The bowl of ice cream that sounded so good doesn’t sound so good 41 minutes and 4 miles later. What does sound good is peppermint tea and a hot bath.